Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Your life is a shitty simulation of someone else's


AI is going to get better—way better. Then memory uploading is going to come along and people are going to share their memories on some facebook-like platform. (Not facebook though since that will probably be dead). Then we will discover that some peoples lives really are privileged—like those of attractive women.

Some guy is going to get the bright idea to take all those memories and combine them with artificial intelligence to answer the age old question: how do you have the best life? Then everyone is going to wind up with a personal assistant on the phone which says, "fuck Brian!" and "eat the noodles" and "don't get into that guys car." This is because the software is crunching the numbers based on the memories of billions of people and trying to give you the best life outcome. It's running billions of simulations for you based on experience of many, many people, just like you. And it's saying, 'the probability is higher that you will be happy if you do "A" rather than "B."' It's a life happiness maximization app running in the cloud using artificial intelligence, and it's telling you how to be happy based on a vast set of personal details; your appearance, your genes, your temperament, etc. It really does know what is best for you.

Or shall I say, "it really does know what is best for the real you."

Because guess what? Math says that it is more likely that you are a simulation of someone's life than living your own. Somewhere, outside the mainframe, in "meatspace" is the real you having a wonderful blissful existence filled with fun and sex, long wonderful conversations, and deep intimate moments. It just isn't you! Because you are one of the simulations, and to make some douchebag happy a billion simulations must be miserable. Got it?

And that is why God is real, life is hell, and heaven actually exists. Because there is a programmer who created this place, the place itself, and a blissful version of you somewhere "up there" in the real world.

Of maybe I'm just fucking with you.


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